Tips On Getting Your Ex Back The Right Way
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By admin | September 22, 2008 |
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Loosing a spouse brings almost unbearable sorrow at times, sorrow due to the pain of loss. No matter how good or bad we believe a marriage to be there is sorrow, if and when separation or divorce comes. We get use to having the other person in our daily life and miss the familiar things in life, even those which are sometimes negative forces in our life.
Periods of Silence Hurts Feelings
As a marriage begins to decline there is less positive communication between the spouses. Sometimes there are long periods of silence and sad faces. Each bottles-up their feelings allowing them to rule heart and mind. Spouses treat each other as non- existent at times. If they speak it is with anger, sarcasm and disgust. Sometime one of them begins falling asleep on the couch. Sleeping in the same bed is no longer a part of their lives.
The spouses are miserable, unhappy and wasting precious time. Both are grieving for something they once believed was real. The marriage is in trouble when a couple stops communicating. Separation and divorce is on the horizon. People can live in this type of vacuum until one day a verbal explosion breaks the silence. This tirade of hurtful words only brings greater misery. The dam is down and life becomes one of arguing and mean spirited behaviors toward each other. The mean words spoken often leave an indelible impression on the mind and heart of the other.
Take Much Care About You Say Because It Leaves Footprints.
Words spoken can never be taken back no matter how many times one says, I am sorry. When words pierce the air there is no way to put them back into our mouths. Words once spoken are gone forever. All that remains is the memory of those words. The memory of those words will live in the memory of the offended one.
The first place to begin is within your own heart, mind and soul. Honestly convicting your self for the part you played in the failed marriage. Blaming is a waste of energy and lack of truthfulness. Admit to yourself first and then to someone close to you, perhaps even a minister or counselor the part you played in your failed marriage. You and your ex are both responsible but you must know and admit your faults only. This is what conviction is and until you convict yourself and accept responsibility for the part you played in a failed marriage there is no hope for reuniting with your ex.
Once you reach this stage in life then you are ready to contact your ex and ask to meet and talk. Tell your ex you now know the role you played in the destruction of the relationship. Express your determination to continue your personal change in behavior. Tell your ex you are daily overcoming these failures because you now understand and know the qualities needed to build a relationship with someone. You will know when it is time to ask your ex if he or she is willing to begin a new relationship and see where it leads.
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